All critical management skills require effective communication. Whether we are leading, coaching, delegating, building a team, making decisions, counseling, hiring, or just about any management activity we can think of, we need to communicate.
Communication implies sharing/exchange of information, passing on/conveying an emotion and is the common connecting door between clients and customers in corporate parlance. Now let us analyse the importance it holds in our day to day activities.
The power and effect of communication can be felt in our daily life. Day in and day out we come across press reports conveying suicide / attempted suicide of a student when he was chided for his academic failure or taunts a girl receives from her in-laws, an employee from his boss.
Why we communicate
- To get our message across
- To make a great impression
- To do it with impact & style
Channels of communication
- Positive Gestures
- Handshakes
- The gazes
- Smiles
- Hand Movements
- Style of walking
- Voice Modulation
- Written material
In the process of our career we have heard statements like – This Manager has declined my loan. Still I liked the way he communicated it. Why so? It is
because in the conversation/s he would not have said no at the start, given excuses for not doing so, nor dilly-dallied or procrastinated, never kept the receiver in the doubtful domain, promised and then retreated.
Even while saying “No” he provides reason and logic for tendering the refusal. Most people are intelligent enough to distinguish between an “excuse” and a “reason” backed by logic. By doing so a lot of undesirable complaints and paper work at branch/administrative offices could be avoided.
Our Body as communicating tool
The positive gestures you display like open palms, eye-to-eye contact, smile, equal handshake imply that you are a positive personality, honest and direct, open and equal in behaviour and attitude with no complexes attached. Any contra movements other than the above suggested indicate superiority/ inferiority complex, deceptively sub-subservient lack of concentration / credibility / confidence /shifty nature/ dejection.
Examples of such careless body communication forms include Lifeless/Tight grip, shifty/ evasive eye movements. Crossed hands indicate lack of confidence, folded arms with upward-pointing thumb indicate closed mind/superiority complex, hands resting/clasping the back of neck displays a danger signal, scratching the head indicates perplexed mind, scratching the neck on the one side shows insecurity , clenching of hands indicate that speaker does not believe in what he says and if it done by the listener, it signals frustration/irritation. Stapling of fingertips with thump and first two fingers means the person is having extreme confidence bordering on eccentricity.
Like-wise, walking disorganised, head bent illustrate and talking to someone with hands in our pocket illustrates his attempt to portray a macho image/withdrawal/shyness/cynical/critical/depressed outlook.show connotes
In a business communication your eye focus would be on the eyes and forehead of the person before us, while it can be from forehead to lips in social communication and from head to toe in intimate communication.
Facts on communication
1. No matter how hard one tries, one cannot avoid communicating
2. Communicating does not necessarily mean understanding
3. Communication is irreversible
4. Communication is affected by physical and social settings
5. Communication is an ongoing and ever-changing process
6. Speak Clearly and concisely
7. Speak with enthusiasm and expressiveness
8. Develop a natural and informal style
9. Be sincere
10. Develop an attitude of wanting
to listen
11.Focus your attention on
understanding the other
person’s meaning, not
formulating your response
12. Show the speaker that you are
Listening
13. Use open ended questions to
open up communication –
open ended questions begin
with words like “Tell me
”What,” “How,” “Explain”
and “Describe.”
14. Use paraphrasing – “ this
Reaction may not be good
Because… ”
15. Summarize conversations to
ensure understanding and close the communication.
Tips for Successful Communication
1. Think through what you want to say before you say it. Always bear in mind that everybody without exception needs to communicate.
2. Speak clearly and concisely. Also speak with enthusiasm and expressiveness.
3. Be sincere. Most people have a very fine insincerity detector.
4. Develop an attitude of wanting to listen. Demonstrate this by focusing on
the sender’s message, not on formulating your response.
5. Use a “real” open door policy with your employees.
6. Show the speaker that you are listening by maintaining eye contact.
7. Use open-ended questions to open up communication.
8. Summarize conversations to ensure understanding and provide closure.
9. Don’t shoot the messenger. Encourage or reward people who have
contrary viewpoints or who bring you bad news.
10. Keep your boss informed.
(Source: The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Leadership Skills- Peter B. Stark, Jane Flaherty)
Great Tips for better communication
1. Speak to people.
2. Smile at people.
3. Address people by name.
4. Be warm, friendly and helpful.
5. Be enthusiastic about life.
6. Be genuinely interested in people.
7. Look for the opportunity to give praise.
8. Be considerate of other people’s feelings.
9. Be thoughtful and respectful of other people’s opinions.
10. Be a great listener.
The effect of miscommunication is best illustrated by the following story.
A lonely octogenarian mother whose visual and hearing functions have started receding due to her old age, was living in her old home with an assistant to help her daily chores. She has three daughters, who are worth billions now, and live in far-away lands now. These daughters came up in life to this level only due to their mother’s care and untiring efforts .
As a token of gratitude and affection, each one of them wanted to give a worthy gift to their mother, which she will cherish during the remaining part of her life. With this in mind, the first daughter offered her a new big bungalow to stay and the second daughter gave her mother a beautiful limousine for travel comfort and conveyed to their mother about the gift they are planning to give.
The third daughter, who is also equally fond of her mother searched for the best gift she cane give. She also came to know of the gifts her sisters had promised.
Not to be outdone and trying to outsmart, she wanted to build an element of surprise and better value in her gift package.
She felt that the old lady, nearing her way to tomb, needs more than anything some daily spiritual recitations to tone up her spirit, so that she can successfully pass off the old age.
She therefore purchased a parrot which was well trained in Bhagwad Gita for 15 years so that if anyone tells the chapter number of Bhagwad Gita it will recite the whole chapter and tell the meaning also. It is needless to say that the parrot cost the third daughter a big fortune.
So, the parrot was sent to the mother as a surprise gift, while the first two daughters wanted to ascertain beforehand if their mother would like to accept the gift offer of a bungalow and a limousine.
The mother said to the first daughter –
“I cannot move much at this age– a spacious bungalow I may not be able to use. Therefore, my dear, I don’t need it.”
To the second one she clarified that
“Due to my age, I am constrained to stay home than move out. Darling, I have, therefore, no use for the big car.”
On receiving the surprise gift from the third daughter, she profusely thanked her and promptly responded:
“Thanks a lot Baby for the excellent chicken sent to me. It is so tasty! “
The moral of the story is
- Communicate clearly for proper acceptance
- The essence of communication is lost if it does not serve the purpose
- It will be utter waste of time, money and energy if we do not communicate properly
“As soon as you move one step from the bottom, your effectiveness depends on your ability to reach others through the spoken and written word - Peter Drucker”
