Listening and Responding to the views of others
Once there lived a very good King who was very nice to others and wanted everything to be perfect around him. He had a good minister called Suman. (A minister has to be wise . He cannot be otherwise!)
A person's patient listening qualities grow inversely proportional to his growing status.
Suman is so optimistic that he strongly believes that whatever is happening is only for good. One day they were engaged in sword fighting and the king's little finger was lost. Suman immediately helped him get good treatment. The cut was not big enough but it left an indelible scar. The king asked Suman why I should suffer this cut in spite of my being a good ruler and being so nice to all. Suman as usual said whatever happened was bound to be happen and that it is good that it happened to him.
The king, already reeling under the pain of his wound, got so furious that he stopped talking to Suman from that moment and went for a hunting program which he originally planned with Suman. The minister further irritated the king by saying that it is very good that he is not accompanying the king to forest.
As any angry man does, he loses his way and were engulfed by a tribe who arrested him and sent to their chieftain for offering as a sacrifice to their god. The tribal chief examined and found that the king has no little finger. As sacrificing such a person with a defective body will earn the wrath of their, he let the king go free. The king returned to his palace and narrated the incident to Suman. The minister explained that the loss of one little finger was good because it saved the king's life. The minister not joining the king is also beneficial because the tribes would have sacrified him since he has no defects in his body and make the king poorerthe king with the loss of his sagacious minister.
The moral of the story is that the minister by mistake has caused the loss of the king's finger in the sword fight. But that helped the king in greater measure.
Let us come closer and analyse an even nearer historical event.
They said he died.
One morning in 1888, Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite, the man who
had spent his life amassing a fortune from the manufacture and sale of
weapons of destruction, awoke to read his own obituary. Of course, it
was a mistake. Alfred's brother had died, and the reporter
inadvertently wrote Alfred's obituary.
For the first time, Alfred Nobel saw himself as the world saw him –
"the dynamite king," the great industrialist who had made an immense
fortune from explosives. This, as far as the general public was
concerned, was the entire purpose of his life. None of his true
intentions surfaced. Nothing was said about his work to break down the
barriers that separated persons and ideas. He was, quite simply, a
merchant of death, and for that alone would he be remembered.
Alfred read the obituary with horror. He felt that the world must know
the true meaning and purpose of his life. He resolved to do this
through his last will and testament. The final disposition of his
fortune would show the world his life's ideals. And at that time came
into being yearly prizes for chemistry, physics, medicine,
literature – and the famous Nobel Peace Prize.
If you were to read your own obituary today, what would it say? Do
others know what you stand for, what you believe in and what truly
matters to you?
Dr. Philip Humbert asks, "What remarkable, extraordinary and amazing
things will you do with this wild and wonderful miracle, your one and
only life?" I believe that the question should also be asked this way:
"What will you do with this wild and wonderful miracle, your one and
only DAY?" For it's increasingly clear to me that the decisions I make
every day, even little decisions, will decide how my life will
eventually turn out.
Hopefully, I won't wake up to read my own obituary. But I have already
begun to write it – day by day, moment by moment. And if I live a life
that matters today, then my obituary will already be written in the
hearts of those who know me.
-- Steve Goodier
We therefore have to develop the habit of listening to others.
Recently a Research has been conducted by Cornell University on Managers' Skills vs. Listening Environment; where they work on "Building Managers' Skill to Create Listening Environment". The study was conducted by Judi Brownwell, P.hd from Centre for Hospitality Research at Connell. She used HURIER framework to analyse the importance of Listening with-in the organization. I find it interesting to share with all members of the Forum.
The HURIER Listening Model
1. H
– Develop Hearing
• Do not multi-task when listening—focus entirely on the speaker
• Eliminate distractions
• Position yourself where it is easy to hear
• Postpone listening if you cannot concentrate
• Be prepared to listen
2. U
– Increase Understanding
• Ask for clarification when vocabulary or jargon is unfamiliar
• Restate to ensure that you have understood completely
• Ask questions to clarify intentions
• Distinguish details from the speaker’s main points
• Refrain from interrupting the person speaking
3. R
– Improve Remembering
• Quickly identify good reasons to remember what you hear
• Stay calm and focused—stress interferes with memory
• Learn short and long term memory techniques
• Continuously practice to improve your memory
4. I
– Interpret Accurately
• Observe and consider the speaker’s nonverbal cues
• Listen for emotional messages as well as words
• Take the context of the communication into account
• Encourage the speaker
• Recognize and account for individual differences
5. E
– Evaluate Wisely
• Listen to the entire message before responding
• Apply guidelines of sound reasoning in making judgments
• Distinguish emotional from logical appeals
• Recognize the influence of your personal bias and values
• Differentiate between the ideas presented and the person
speaking
6. R
– Respond Appropriately
• Be aware of your unintentional nonverbal communication
• Recognize how your response influences the speaker’s decisions
• Distinguish among different types of response—including
judgments, empathy, opinions, and questions
• Expand your behavioral flexibility—make choices based on the
needs of the situation rather than your habits and comfort level.
The further study on HURIER Listening Model at Cornell University proves that listening meant different things to employees in different departments and in different industry segments. For instance; A member of the sales staff may need to develop a high level of competence in understanding and remembering the details a client provides, while a hostess in the Bar might depend more heavily on her ability to interpret a guests’ behavior, since the hostess must assess and respond appropriately to a guest’s emotional aspect.
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