Public Sector Banks in India has taken upon itself a mission of being a Common Man’s Bank. A large majority of our 20 billion plus customers belong to this category. It is our bounden duty to uplift them. They are willing to improve as is seen in the orderly conduct of elections in the world’s largest democracy.
When I was in Delhi I used to get my pan from a panwallah from Bihar. One day, as he was making my pan, two children one 4 years and another slightly bigger, 6 years – came running. The smaller child wearing a new pair of shoes fell down and the bigger child tried to lift the smaller one by holding its shoe.
As an educated man with a lot of exposure I was immediately led to think that the bigger child was out to grab the new shoes of the little one, started the chase and in the melee made the little child fall down. But the so-called unlettered Bihari panwallah started laughing . I was a bit irritated by his not empathising with the fallen child . I asked the panwallah why he laughed. The simple Bihari explained to me that he was laughing because of the foolish act of the bigger child, as it was trying to lift the little one by holding the leg instead of giving a helping hand.
Extending the helping hand – it is a mantra that struck me as far as financial inclusion is concerned. We officials more often than not try to lift the BPL people by lifting them by their leg. A change of our mental perception is what is needed in emphatising with these people.
It is not uncommon to find that that people from lesser privileged backgrounds like the ghettos, jhuggi- jhopdis etc are more prone to violence than others from better and cleaner environments; the operative word being “cleaner, more attractive, well organized and kept and maintained surroundings.
This article aims to answer the question “why”. Why do they behave this way?
Let’s try and understand these actions more in the spirit of starting a discussion than deep psychological unraveling to prove anything. Let me take up a few:
There is all the open space on the road.. But the other guy still does not find enough space and bumps into you.
This is the way they feel comfortable and justify their individuality.
These unfortunate people have known only cramped surroundings that accord them no pride or individuality with little or no space of their own. They have never been alone. Living in cramped and often dirty surroundings with no respite in sight and with an underlying subconscious thought that life has dealt them a miserable hand.
There is a lot of empty space to park the car but the guy still double parks and blocks the road for everybody.
Self importance makes them want to be seen always in a hurry. They take the shortest rout from one point to another, even overtake at curves and from the left or go over the other half of the road; so importantly they have to park right opposite the gate and subconsciously the only way they can attract attention is by being a bit of nuisance.
There is a Q at the milk booth but he still tries to push his hand over others to be served first.
He is supremely comfortable in his own persona. Nobody else exists. He does not see anyone else. I was at the booth and this young lad came and tried to go over everybody, specially a small servant girl. I stopped him and told him flatly that he shall have to wait his turn; his answered saying that he did not see the girl. They live so much in a world where they are the single most important person that they automatically become blind to everyone else. Then cheating is part of life; is it not?
He sees the well kept courtyard and the first thing he does is spit in front of the front door before entering.
The poor guy is really showing off his good manners; that before entering the house he was clearing his throat and all. It is not his fault that he has never known a clean “front” as part of one’s image. The street where he lives is the principal common drain too of the locality. A beautiful front as part of character of the home is too far away from his conception of things. He has only learnt to see his smashing handsome self in the mirror and he is very impressed by his image.
The whole sleeping compartment is asleep in the train and two people wake up in the morning and start talking and guffawing.
In their common life nobody has ever respected their privacy. The concept simply does not exist in their personas. They have known dirt, neglect and are acutely aware that for a few minutes of romp their parents have endowed them a life-time of misery. If they manage to get out of their abject surroundings, they have to let the world know it and it never occurred to them that what they are so loudly announcing to the world is not of interest to anybody or very commonplace too..
In Financial inclusion what is required is “Extend a helping hand .. Don’t try to lift them by their legs”. After all, it is specifically these people who have brought wonderful changes through a vibrant democracy and elected 15 Lok Sabhas so far!
ஞாயிறு, 17 மே, 2009
Listening to tohers and Responding to others' views
Listening and Responding to the views of others
Once there lived a very good King who was very nice to others and wanted everything to be perfect around him. He had a good minister called Suman. (A minister has to be wise . He cannot be otherwise!)
A person's patient listening qualities grow inversely proportional to his growing status.
Suman is so optimistic that he strongly believes that whatever is happening is only for good. One day they were engaged in sword fighting and the king's little finger was lost. Suman immediately helped him get good treatment. The cut was not big enough but it left an indelible scar. The king asked Suman why I should suffer this cut in spite of my being a good ruler and being so nice to all. Suman as usual said whatever happened was bound to be happen and that it is good that it happened to him.
The king, already reeling under the pain of his wound, got so furious that he stopped talking to Suman from that moment and went for a hunting program which he originally planned with Suman. The minister further irritated the king by saying that it is very good that he is not accompanying the king to forest.
As any angry man does, he loses his way and were engulfed by a tribe who arrested him and sent to their chieftain for offering as a sacrifice to their god. The tribal chief examined and found that the king has no little finger. As sacrificing such a person with a defective body will earn the wrath of their, he let the king go free. The king returned to his palace and narrated the incident to Suman. The minister explained that the loss of one little finger was good because it saved the king's life. The minister not joining the king is also beneficial because the tribes would have sacrified him since he has no defects in his body and make the king poorerthe king with the loss of his sagacious minister.
The moral of the story is that the minister by mistake has caused the loss of the king's finger in the sword fight. But that helped the king in greater measure.
Let us come closer and analyse an even nearer historical event.
They said he died.
One morning in 1888, Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite, the man who
had spent his life amassing a fortune from the manufacture and sale of
weapons of destruction, awoke to read his own obituary. Of course, it
was a mistake. Alfred's brother had died, and the reporter
inadvertently wrote Alfred's obituary.
For the first time, Alfred Nobel saw himself as the world saw him –
"the dynamite king," the great industrialist who had made an immense
fortune from explosives. This, as far as the general public was
concerned, was the entire purpose of his life. None of his true
intentions surfaced. Nothing was said about his work to break down the
barriers that separated persons and ideas. He was, quite simply, a
merchant of death, and for that alone would he be remembered.
Alfred read the obituary with horror. He felt that the world must know
the true meaning and purpose of his life. He resolved to do this
through his last will and testament. The final disposition of his
fortune would show the world his life's ideals. And at that time came
into being yearly prizes for chemistry, physics, medicine,
literature – and the famous Nobel Peace Prize.
If you were to read your own obituary today, what would it say? Do
others know what you stand for, what you believe in and what truly
matters to you?
Dr. Philip Humbert asks, "What remarkable, extraordinary and amazing
things will you do with this wild and wonderful miracle, your one and
only life?" I believe that the question should also be asked this way:
"What will you do with this wild and wonderful miracle, your one and
only DAY?" For it's increasingly clear to me that the decisions I make
every day, even little decisions, will decide how my life will
eventually turn out.
Hopefully, I won't wake up to read my own obituary. But I have already
begun to write it – day by day, moment by moment. And if I live a life
that matters today, then my obituary will already be written in the
hearts of those who know me.
-- Steve Goodier
We therefore have to develop the habit of listening to others.
Recently a Research has been conducted by Cornell University on Managers' Skills vs. Listening Environment; where they work on "Building Managers' Skill to Create Listening Environment". The study was conducted by Judi Brownwell, P.hd from Centre for Hospitality Research at Connell. She used HURIER framework to analyse the importance of Listening with-in the organization. I find it interesting to share with all members of the Forum.
The HURIER Listening Model
1. H
– Develop Hearing
• Do not multi-task when listening—focus entirely on the speaker
• Eliminate distractions
• Position yourself where it is easy to hear
• Postpone listening if you cannot concentrate
• Be prepared to listen
2. U
– Increase Understanding
• Ask for clarification when vocabulary or jargon is unfamiliar
• Restate to ensure that you have understood completely
• Ask questions to clarify intentions
• Distinguish details from the speaker’s main points
• Refrain from interrupting the person speaking
3. R
– Improve Remembering
• Quickly identify good reasons to remember what you hear
• Stay calm and focused—stress interferes with memory
• Learn short and long term memory techniques
• Continuously practice to improve your memory
4. I
– Interpret Accurately
• Observe and consider the speaker’s nonverbal cues
• Listen for emotional messages as well as words
• Take the context of the communication into account
• Encourage the speaker
• Recognize and account for individual differences
5. E
– Evaluate Wisely
• Listen to the entire message before responding
• Apply guidelines of sound reasoning in making judgments
• Distinguish emotional from logical appeals
• Recognize the influence of your personal bias and values
• Differentiate between the ideas presented and the person
speaking
6. R
– Respond Appropriately
• Be aware of your unintentional nonverbal communication
• Recognize how your response influences the speaker’s decisions
• Distinguish among different types of response—including
judgments, empathy, opinions, and questions
• Expand your behavioral flexibility—make choices based on the
needs of the situation rather than your habits and comfort level.
The further study on HURIER Listening Model at Cornell University proves that listening meant different things to employees in different departments and in different industry segments. For instance; A member of the sales staff may need to develop a high level of competence in understanding and remembering the details a client provides, while a hostess in the Bar might depend more heavily on her ability to interpret a guests’ behavior, since the hostess must assess and respond appropriately to a guest’s emotional aspect.
Once there lived a very good King who was very nice to others and wanted everything to be perfect around him. He had a good minister called Suman. (A minister has to be wise . He cannot be otherwise!)
A person's patient listening qualities grow inversely proportional to his growing status.
Suman is so optimistic that he strongly believes that whatever is happening is only for good. One day they were engaged in sword fighting and the king's little finger was lost. Suman immediately helped him get good treatment. The cut was not big enough but it left an indelible scar. The king asked Suman why I should suffer this cut in spite of my being a good ruler and being so nice to all. Suman as usual said whatever happened was bound to be happen and that it is good that it happened to him.
The king, already reeling under the pain of his wound, got so furious that he stopped talking to Suman from that moment and went for a hunting program which he originally planned with Suman. The minister further irritated the king by saying that it is very good that he is not accompanying the king to forest.
As any angry man does, he loses his way and were engulfed by a tribe who arrested him and sent to their chieftain for offering as a sacrifice to their god. The tribal chief examined and found that the king has no little finger. As sacrificing such a person with a defective body will earn the wrath of their, he let the king go free. The king returned to his palace and narrated the incident to Suman. The minister explained that the loss of one little finger was good because it saved the king's life. The minister not joining the king is also beneficial because the tribes would have sacrified him since he has no defects in his body and make the king poorerthe king with the loss of his sagacious minister.
The moral of the story is that the minister by mistake has caused the loss of the king's finger in the sword fight. But that helped the king in greater measure.
Let us come closer and analyse an even nearer historical event.
They said he died.
One morning in 1888, Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite, the man who
had spent his life amassing a fortune from the manufacture and sale of
weapons of destruction, awoke to read his own obituary. Of course, it
was a mistake. Alfred's brother had died, and the reporter
inadvertently wrote Alfred's obituary.
For the first time, Alfred Nobel saw himself as the world saw him –
"the dynamite king," the great industrialist who had made an immense
fortune from explosives. This, as far as the general public was
concerned, was the entire purpose of his life. None of his true
intentions surfaced. Nothing was said about his work to break down the
barriers that separated persons and ideas. He was, quite simply, a
merchant of death, and for that alone would he be remembered.
Alfred read the obituary with horror. He felt that the world must know
the true meaning and purpose of his life. He resolved to do this
through his last will and testament. The final disposition of his
fortune would show the world his life's ideals. And at that time came
into being yearly prizes for chemistry, physics, medicine,
literature – and the famous Nobel Peace Prize.
If you were to read your own obituary today, what would it say? Do
others know what you stand for, what you believe in and what truly
matters to you?
Dr. Philip Humbert asks, "What remarkable, extraordinary and amazing
things will you do with this wild and wonderful miracle, your one and
only life?" I believe that the question should also be asked this way:
"What will you do with this wild and wonderful miracle, your one and
only DAY?" For it's increasingly clear to me that the decisions I make
every day, even little decisions, will decide how my life will
eventually turn out.
Hopefully, I won't wake up to read my own obituary. But I have already
begun to write it – day by day, moment by moment. And if I live a life
that matters today, then my obituary will already be written in the
hearts of those who know me.
-- Steve Goodier
We therefore have to develop the habit of listening to others.
Recently a Research has been conducted by Cornell University on Managers' Skills vs. Listening Environment; where they work on "Building Managers' Skill to Create Listening Environment". The study was conducted by Judi Brownwell, P.hd from Centre for Hospitality Research at Connell. She used HURIER framework to analyse the importance of Listening with-in the organization. I find it interesting to share with all members of the Forum.
The HURIER Listening Model
1. H
– Develop Hearing
• Do not multi-task when listening—focus entirely on the speaker
• Eliminate distractions
• Position yourself where it is easy to hear
• Postpone listening if you cannot concentrate
• Be prepared to listen
2. U
– Increase Understanding
• Ask for clarification when vocabulary or jargon is unfamiliar
• Restate to ensure that you have understood completely
• Ask questions to clarify intentions
• Distinguish details from the speaker’s main points
• Refrain from interrupting the person speaking
3. R
– Improve Remembering
• Quickly identify good reasons to remember what you hear
• Stay calm and focused—stress interferes with memory
• Learn short and long term memory techniques
• Continuously practice to improve your memory
4. I
– Interpret Accurately
• Observe and consider the speaker’s nonverbal cues
• Listen for emotional messages as well as words
• Take the context of the communication into account
• Encourage the speaker
• Recognize and account for individual differences
5. E
– Evaluate Wisely
• Listen to the entire message before responding
• Apply guidelines of sound reasoning in making judgments
• Distinguish emotional from logical appeals
• Recognize the influence of your personal bias and values
• Differentiate between the ideas presented and the person
speaking
6. R
– Respond Appropriately
• Be aware of your unintentional nonverbal communication
• Recognize how your response influences the speaker’s decisions
• Distinguish among different types of response—including
judgments, empathy, opinions, and questions
• Expand your behavioral flexibility—make choices based on the
needs of the situation rather than your habits and comfort level.
The further study on HURIER Listening Model at Cornell University proves that listening meant different things to employees in different departments and in different industry segments. For instance; A member of the sales staff may need to develop a high level of competence in understanding and remembering the details a client provides, while a hostess in the Bar might depend more heavily on her ability to interpret a guests’ behavior, since the hostess must assess and respond appropriately to a guest’s emotional aspect.
புதன், 25 பிப்ரவரி, 2009
Communication
All critical management skills require effective communication. Whether we are leading, coaching, delegating, building a team, making decisions, counseling, hiring, or just about any management activity we can think of, we need to communicate.
Communication implies sharing/exchange of information, passing on/conveying an emotion and is the common connecting door between clients and customers in corporate parlance. Now let us analyse the importance it holds in our day to day activities.
The power and effect of communication can be felt in our daily life. Day in and day out we come across press reports conveying suicide / attempted suicide of a student when he was chided for his academic failure or taunts a girl receives from her in-laws, an employee from his boss.
Why we communicate
- To get our message across
- To make a great impression
- To do it with impact & style
Channels of communication
- Positive Gestures
- Handshakes
- The gazes
- Smiles
- Hand Movements
- Style of walking
- Voice Modulation
- Written material
In the process of our career we have heard statements like – This Manager has declined my loan. Still I liked the way he communicated it. Why so? It is
because in the conversation/s he would not have said no at the start, given excuses for not doing so, nor dilly-dallied or procrastinated, never kept the receiver in the doubtful domain, promised and then retreated.
Even while saying “No” he provides reason and logic for tendering the refusal. Most people are intelligent enough to distinguish between an “excuse” and a “reason” backed by logic. By doing so a lot of undesirable complaints and paper work at branch/administrative offices could be avoided.
Our Body as communicating tool
The positive gestures you display like open palms, eye-to-eye contact, smile, equal handshake imply that you are a positive personality, honest and direct, open and equal in behaviour and attitude with no complexes attached. Any contra movements other than the above suggested indicate superiority/ inferiority complex, deceptively sub-subservient lack of concentration / credibility / confidence /shifty nature/ dejection.
Examples of such careless body communication forms include Lifeless/Tight grip, shifty/ evasive eye movements. Crossed hands indicate lack of confidence, folded arms with upward-pointing thumb indicate closed mind/superiority complex, hands resting/clasping the back of neck displays a danger signal, scratching the head indicates perplexed mind, scratching the neck on the one side shows insecurity , clenching of hands indicate that speaker does not believe in what he says and if it done by the listener, it signals frustration/irritation. Stapling of fingertips with thump and first two fingers means the person is having extreme confidence bordering on eccentricity.
Like-wise, walking disorganised, head bent illustrate and talking to someone with hands in our pocket illustrates his attempt to portray a macho image/withdrawal/shyness/cynical/critical/depressed outlook.show connotes
In a business communication your eye focus would be on the eyes and forehead of the person before us, while it can be from forehead to lips in social communication and from head to toe in intimate communication.
Facts on communication
1. No matter how hard one tries, one cannot avoid communicating
2. Communicating does not necessarily mean understanding
3. Communication is irreversible
4. Communication is affected by physical and social settings
5. Communication is an ongoing and ever-changing process
6. Speak Clearly and concisely
7. Speak with enthusiasm and expressiveness
8. Develop a natural and informal style
9. Be sincere
10. Develop an attitude of wanting
to listen
11.Focus your attention on
understanding the other
person’s meaning, not
formulating your response
12. Show the speaker that you are
Listening
13. Use open ended questions to
open up communication –
open ended questions begin
with words like “Tell me
”What,” “How,” “Explain”
and “Describe.”
14. Use paraphrasing – “ this
Reaction may not be good
Because… ”
15. Summarize conversations to
ensure understanding and close the communication.
Tips for Successful Communication
1. Think through what you want to say before you say it. Always bear in mind that everybody without exception needs to communicate.
2. Speak clearly and concisely. Also speak with enthusiasm and expressiveness.
3. Be sincere. Most people have a very fine insincerity detector.
4. Develop an attitude of wanting to listen. Demonstrate this by focusing on
the sender’s message, not on formulating your response.
5. Use a “real” open door policy with your employees.
6. Show the speaker that you are listening by maintaining eye contact.
7. Use open-ended questions to open up communication.
8. Summarize conversations to ensure understanding and provide closure.
9. Don’t shoot the messenger. Encourage or reward people who have
contrary viewpoints or who bring you bad news.
10. Keep your boss informed.
(Source: The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Leadership Skills- Peter B. Stark, Jane Flaherty)
Great Tips for better communication
1. Speak to people.
2. Smile at people.
3. Address people by name.
4. Be warm, friendly and helpful.
5. Be enthusiastic about life.
6. Be genuinely interested in people.
7. Look for the opportunity to give praise.
8. Be considerate of other people’s feelings.
9. Be thoughtful and respectful of other people’s opinions.
10. Be a great listener.
The effect of miscommunication is best illustrated by the following story.
A lonely octogenarian mother whose visual and hearing functions have started receding due to her old age, was living in her old home with an assistant to help her daily chores. She has three daughters, who are worth billions now, and live in far-away lands now. These daughters came up in life to this level only due to their mother’s care and untiring efforts .
As a token of gratitude and affection, each one of them wanted to give a worthy gift to their mother, which she will cherish during the remaining part of her life. With this in mind, the first daughter offered her a new big bungalow to stay and the second daughter gave her mother a beautiful limousine for travel comfort and conveyed to their mother about the gift they are planning to give.
The third daughter, who is also equally fond of her mother searched for the best gift she cane give. She also came to know of the gifts her sisters had promised.
Not to be outdone and trying to outsmart, she wanted to build an element of surprise and better value in her gift package.
She felt that the old lady, nearing her way to tomb, needs more than anything some daily spiritual recitations to tone up her spirit, so that she can successfully pass off the old age.
She therefore purchased a parrot which was well trained in Bhagwad Gita for 15 years so that if anyone tells the chapter number of Bhagwad Gita it will recite the whole chapter and tell the meaning also. It is needless to say that the parrot cost the third daughter a big fortune.
So, the parrot was sent to the mother as a surprise gift, while the first two daughters wanted to ascertain beforehand if their mother would like to accept the gift offer of a bungalow and a limousine.
The mother said to the first daughter –
“I cannot move much at this age– a spacious bungalow I may not be able to use. Therefore, my dear, I don’t need it.”
To the second one she clarified that
“Due to my age, I am constrained to stay home than move out. Darling, I have, therefore, no use for the big car.”
On receiving the surprise gift from the third daughter, she profusely thanked her and promptly responded:
“Thanks a lot Baby for the excellent chicken sent to me. It is so tasty! “
The moral of the story is
- Communicate clearly for proper acceptance
- The essence of communication is lost if it does not serve the purpose
- It will be utter waste of time, money and energy if we do not communicate properly
“As soon as you move one step from the bottom, your effectiveness depends on your ability to reach others through the spoken and written word - Peter Drucker”
Communication
All critical management skills require effective communication. Whether we are leading, coaching, delegating, building a team, making decisions, counseling, hiring, or just about any management activity we can think of, we need to communicate.
Communication implies sharing/exchange of information, passing on/conveying an emotion and is the common connecting door between clients and customers in corporate parlance. Now let us analyse the importance it holds in our day to day activities.
The power and effect of communication can be felt in our daily life. Day in and day out we come across press reports conveying suicide / attempted suicide of a student when he was chided for his academic failure or taunts a girl receives from her in-laws, an employee from his boss.
Why we communicate
- To get our message across
- To make a great impression
- To do it with impact & style
Channels of communication
- Positive Gestures
- Handshakes
- The gazes
- Smiles
- Hand Movements
- Style of walking
- Voice Modulation
- Written material
In the process of our career we have heard statements like – This Manager has declined my loan. Still I liked the way he communicated it. Why so? It is
Even while saying “No” he provides reason and logic for tendering the refusal. Most people are intelligent enough to distinguish between an “excuse” and a “reason” backed by logic. By doing so a lot of undesirable complaints and paper work at branch/administrative offices could be avoided.
Our Body as communicating tool
The positive gestures you display like open palms, eye-to-eye contact, smile, equal handshake imply that you are a positive personality, honest and direct, open and equal in behaviour and attitude with no complexes attached. Any contra movements other than the above suggested indicate superiority/ inferiority complex, deceptively sub-subservient lack of concentration / credibility / confidence /shifty nature/ dejection.
Examples of such careless body communication forms include Lifeless/Tight grip, shifty/ evasive eye movements. Crossed hands indicate lack of confidence, folded arms with upward-pointing thumb indicate closed mind/superiority complex, hands resting/clasping the back of neck displays a danger signal, scratching the head indicates perplexed mind, scratching the neck on the one side shows insecurity , clenching of hands indicate that speaker does not believe in what he says and if it done by the listener, it signals frustration/irritation. Stapling of fingertips with thump and first two fingers means the person is having extreme confidence bordering on eccentricity.
Like-wise, walking disorganised, head bent illustrate and talking to someone with hands in our pocket illustrates his attempt to portray a macho image/withdrawal/shyness/cynical/critical/depressed outlook.show connotes
In a business communication your eye focus would be on the eyes and forehead of the person before us, while it can be from forehead to lips in social communication and from head to toe in intimate communication.
Facts on communication
1. No matter how hard one tries, one cannot avoid communicating
2. Communicating does not necessarily mean understanding
3. Communication is irreversible
4. Communication is affected by physical and social settings
5. Communication is an ongoing and ever-changing process
6. Speak Clearly and concisely
7. Speak with enthusiasm and expressiveness
8. Develop a natural and informal style
9. Be sincere
10. Develop an attitude of wanting
to listen
11.Focus your attention on
understanding the other
person’s meaning, not
formulating your response
12. Show the speaker that you are
Listening
13. Use open ended questions to
open up communication –
open ended questions begin
with words like “Tell me
”What,” “How,” “Explain”
and “Describe.”
14. Use paraphrasing – “ this
Reaction may not be good
Because… ”
15. Summarize conversations to
ensure understanding and close the communication.
Tips for Successful Communication
1. Think through what you want to say before you say it. Always bear in mind that everybody without exception needs to communicate.
2. Speak clearly and concisely. Also speak with enthusiasm and expressiveness.
3. Be sincere. Most people have a very fine insincerity detector.
4. Develop an attitude of wanting to listen. Demonstrate this by focusing on
the sender’s message, not on formulating your response.
5. Use a “real” open door policy with your employees.
6. Show the speaker that you are listening by maintaining eye contact.
7. Use open-ended questions to open up communication.
8. Summarize conversations to ensure understanding and provide closure.
9. Don’t shoot the messenger. Encourage or reward people who have
contrary viewpoints or who bring you bad news.
10. Keep your boss informed.
(Source: The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Leadership Skills- Peter B. Stark, Jane Flaherty)
Great Tips for better communication
1. Speak to people.
2. Smile at people.
3. Address people by name.
4. Be warm, friendly and helpful.
5. Be enthusiastic about life.
6. Be genuinely interested in people.
7. Look for the opportunity to give praise.
8. Be considerate of other people’s feelings.
9. Be thoughtful and respectful of other people’s opinions.
10. Be a great listener.
The effect of miscommunication is best illustrated by the following story.
A lonely octogenarian mother whose visual and hearing functions have started receding due to her old age, was living in her old home with an assistant to help her daily chores. She has three daughters, who are worth billions now, and live in far-away lands now. These daughters came up in life to this level only due to their mother’s care and untiring efforts .
As a token of gratitude and affection, each one of them wanted to give a worthy gift to their mother, which she will cherish during the remaining part of her life. With this in mind, the first daughter offered her a new big bungalow to stay and the second daughter gave her mother a beautiful limousine for travel comfort and conveyed to their mother about the gift they are planning to give.
The third daughter, who is also equally fond of her mother searched for the best gift she cane give. She also came to know of the gifts her sisters had promised.
Not to be outdone and trying to outsmart, she wanted to build an element of surprise and better value in her gift package.
She felt that the old lady, nearing her way to tomb, needs more than anything some daily spiritual recitations to tone up her spirit, so that she can successfully pass off the old age.
She therefore purchased a parrot which was well trained in Bhagwad Gita for 15 years so that if anyone tells the chapter number of Bhagwad Gita it will recite the whole chapter and tell the meaning also. It is needless to say that the parrot cost the third daughter a big fortune.
So, the parrot was sent to the mother as a surprise gift, while the first two daughters wanted to ascertain beforehand if their mother would like to accept the gift offer of a bungalow and a limousine.
The mother said to the first daughter –
“I cannot move much at this age– a spacious bungalow I may not be able to use. Therefore, my dear, I don’t need it.”
To the second one she clarified that
“Due to my age, I am constrained to stay home than move out. Darling, I have, therefore, no use for the big car.”
On receiving the surprise gift from the third daughter, she profusely thanked her and promptly responded:
“Thanks a lot Baby for the excellent chicken sent to me. It is so tasty! “
The moral of the story is
- Communicate clearly for proper acceptance
- The essence of communication is lost if it does not serve the purpose
- It will be utter waste of time, money and energy if we do not communicate properly
“As soon as you move one step from the bottom, your effectiveness depends on your ability to reach others through the spoken and written word - Peter Drucker”
வெள்ளி, 19 செப்டம்பர், 2008
आज का राजनीतिज्ञ
आज का राजनीतिज्ञ
गरीबी रेखा के
नीचे रहनेवालों को
पैर पकड़ कर उठा रहे है
आज के राजनीतिज्ञ ।
वे पैरों पर खड़ा करने के बजाय
सिर पर खड़ा कर रहे है ।
है तो यह कमाल की बात
पर क्या करें
यह उनकी रोजी रोटी का
सवाल है ।
रचना
बी रविचन्द्रन
(आशिक अपनी माशूका के पास बार बार गया ले कर जज्बाते आरजू । जवाब न मिला । आशिक मायूस हुआ और मायूस हो कर उसने गालिब का यह शेर कहा। कह कर चलने को हुआ तो जवाब आया ...........................)
समर्पण
जब चाहे आवाज दे कर बुला लो मुझे
मैं कोई गया वक्त नहीं कि
लौट कर नहीं आ सकता ।
गालिब नहीं जो बयाँ करूँ
जवाब जरिया-ए-शायरी
मैं तो एक लहर हूँ
पड़ी हूँ कदमों पे तेरे
उठती हूँ बार बार प्यार में
फिर से गिर जाने के लिए
रचना
बी रविचन्द्रन
गरीबी रेखा के
नीचे रहनेवालों को
पैर पकड़ कर उठा रहे है
आज के राजनीतिज्ञ ।
वे पैरों पर खड़ा करने के बजाय
सिर पर खड़ा कर रहे है ।
है तो यह कमाल की बात
पर क्या करें
यह उनकी रोजी रोटी का
सवाल है ।
रचना
बी रविचन्द्रन
(आशिक अपनी माशूका के पास बार बार गया ले कर जज्बाते आरजू । जवाब न मिला । आशिक मायूस हुआ और मायूस हो कर उसने गालिब का यह शेर कहा। कह कर चलने को हुआ तो जवाब आया ...........................)
समर्पण
जब चाहे आवाज दे कर बुला लो मुझे
मैं कोई गया वक्त नहीं कि
लौट कर नहीं आ सकता ।
गालिब नहीं जो बयाँ करूँ
जवाब जरिया-ए-शायरी
मैं तो एक लहर हूँ
पड़ी हूँ कदमों पे तेरे
उठती हूँ बार बार प्यार में
फिर से गिर जाने के लिए
रचना
बी रविचन्द्रन
Nursery Rhyme - Green Bus
Green Bus
Boy Bus Girl Bus POM POM POM
Omni bus Cheer Bus Tom Tom Tom
Hurry Bus Worry Bus Gloom Gloom Gloom
Merry Bus Joy Bus Loom Loom Loom
Smoke Bus Noise Bus Shame Shame Shame
Driver Good Driver Good Name Name Name
School Bus Jolly Bus Vroom Vroom Vroom
Green Bus My Love Bus Bloom Bloom Bloom
Boy Bus Girl Bus POM POM POM
Omni bus Cheer Bus Tom Tom Tom
Hurry Bus Worry Bus Gloom Gloom Gloom
Merry Bus Joy Bus Loom Loom Loom
Smoke Bus Noise Bus Shame Shame Shame
Driver Good Driver Good Name Name Name
School Bus Jolly Bus Vroom Vroom Vroom
Green Bus My Love Bus Bloom Bloom Bloom
Green Bus
Green Bus
Boy Bus Girl Bus POM POM POM
Omni bus Cheer Bus Tom Tom Tom
Hurry Bus Worry Bus Gloom Gloom Gloom
Merry Bus Joy Bus Loom Loom Loom
Smoke Bus Noise Bus Shame Shame Shame
Driver Good Driver Good Name Name Name
School Bus Jolly Bus Vroom Vroom Vroom
Green Bus My Love Bus Bloom Bloom Bloom
Boy Bus Girl Bus POM POM POM
Omni bus Cheer Bus Tom Tom Tom
Hurry Bus Worry Bus Gloom Gloom Gloom
Merry Bus Joy Bus Loom Loom Loom
Smoke Bus Noise Bus Shame Shame Shame
Driver Good Driver Good Name Name Name
School Bus Jolly Bus Vroom Vroom Vroom
Green Bus My Love Bus Bloom Bloom Bloom
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